Matthew passed away on July 23rd. I mentioned him briefly in a previous blog entry. The 3 year old with TB who looked like he was 6 months old.. He had a hernia, which he underwent surgery for, and also had a condition called spinal bifida. There is no qualified surgeon in Africa to treat this condition so he was planning to leave for his surgery to the US in just two days. TWO DAYS. We had visited him about 2 weeks before his passing and I was so surprised to hear that he had improved dramatically, because to me, he still appeared so small and frail. The department of social welfare was involved for a variety of reasons (neglect, poverty, adoption, etc) that are not too important now... The worst part of the whole situation is that Lydia and I got the call in morning before his birth parents ever found out. That day they happened to be in the city and happened to have scheduled a meeting with Lydia. So when we picked them up in our car, they still didn't know. After an awkward car ride that seemed to last forever, we stepped out of the car and Lydia finally broke the news to them at the office.
The next day we attended the burial. Matthew's mother was very quiet the entire car ride, but once we got to the burial site, she started wailing. She didn't stop for the next two hours. There is something so distinct about a mother's wailing who had just lost her child. Whether you've ever birthed a child or not, you understand that a mother's pain and loss is different from anyone else's... She then fainted a few times and didn't make it to the actual burial site. In all of the family's suffering, however, I took comfort in the grand father's role as a gentle and loving patriarch who fostered an equally loving atmosphere for his children and grand children. We knew that the mother was loved by her husband and that the father-in-law and that the rest of the family would step in to care for Matthew's little brother during the mother's suffering.
So after an emotional day, we were riding back in the "ambulance" when we witnessed a little girl get run over by a motorcycle not ten feet from our car. A huge crowd immediately gathered around the bleeding driver and shrieking girl and everyone started yelling at each other. After watching a cop car casually drive by without stopping, Lydia intervened and arranaged for immediate medical care. Both the driver and girl were standing, albeit badly scratched up and injured, which is just about what any of us could handle at that point.
Although I only met Matthew for a brief moment and know that hundreds of children die everyday, I hope that he knows that he was special and that he was loved by his family. May he rest in peace.
28 July 2009
the passing of little Matthew ..
picture 1. Lydia, me, and the ambulance
picture 2. Matthew in Lydia's arms
picture 3. Matthew (he was able to sit up only for a few minutes)
19 July 2009
Rain everyday
+ mice
+ mosquitoes (I tried to sleep underneath the covers but when I woke up I had bites on my freakin eyelid and ears)
+ malaria pills
+ cell phone malfunction
+ computer breakdown
+ no public transportation
= homesickness and sleep deprivation.
I keep telling myself, everything’s fine. Everything’s easy. Life is comfortable. I love Liberia. I love my friends here. BUT, I also need to accept that I kinda love New York more, that I love my old friends more, and that I love my life more when I have access to technology and transportation. This might be obvious to others, but apparently I have a short memory span and struggle with this every time I travel. Rather than exaggerating and freaking out like I really should, I go into denial, tell myself that everything is okay and let things build up.
So, I just had to make a few adjustments. I stopped the malaria pills. I started reaching out to some of the foreigners. Talking to them makes me feel normal. To share the dorky excitement of working in a post-conflict country… I went salsa dancing. Found amazing Argentinean and Peruvian dance partners who can actually dance on 2 (sorry if that doesn’t mean anything to you) and sweated the night away. I stepped up the yoga and running. I found an amazing live reggae bar. I found a nice resort that I can have a brunch buffet by the beach, drink coffee, and read all afternoon.
The rest of the issues? I just have to deal with and move on. I only have 4 more weeks here (CRAZY) and I can deal without a computer. I can and have to deal with the mice and mosquitoes. And I have to accept the daily rain and just hope that there’ll be enough sun left in NYC when I get there and that I’ll take a kick ass vacation to somewhere warm in October or November.
Of course it doesn’t lift my spirits when we go out to the field to find a 3 year old boy with TB who looks like his barely 6 months old and can’t walk or talk. It doesn’t help when I have to visit an orphanage every week and fall in love with every single one of the 90 kids there. It doesn’t help to go into a GBV meeting and learn about all the new gang rape cases in the month of June.
And it doesn’t help to go to a national health conference and observe yet another yelling match. Oh, and then the crazies that come into the office everyday. The begging. The cursing. The loitering. The fighting. The office is like a freakin overflowing emergency room.
On a more positive note, I have been working on exciting projects. I just conducted a training for the departmental social workers on the orphanage accreditation process and regulations/minimal standards for the operation of orphanages. I’m developing a curriculum in collaboration with UNFPA (population fund) to train master trainers who will then go out to the rural counties and train medical staff on clinical responses to SGBV (sexual gender based violence). I’m revising the National Social Welfare Policy as well as the Liberian Ministry of Gender’s report to UNCRC (United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child). Good stuff.
And my birthday weekend was great. Like last year, it was a whole weekend of celebrations. Friday, one of the interns baked me a cake which was great, but she unfortunately missed the memo about my hating karaoke and we ended up karaoke-ing until wee hours of the morning as I was passing out in the corner of the room. Saturday my boss and I spent the entire afternoon at our friend’s house situated right on the beach. We grilled some chicken on the bbq, drank a bottle of whiskey, and got pedicures and manicures. Sunday the neighbor, Sam, hosted a vodka party. He’s as shady as anyone can get, but kinda fun to hang out with. He has a big belly, 3 black SUVs with tinted windows, gold chains, and young women prancing around his compound at all times. I didn’t even make it to mid night (my actual birthday) and passed out early. My actual birthday was low key, just cooking at home and relaxing with a small group of friends.
Thanks again for all the lovely birthday wishes!! I'll try to post some more pictures in the next couple of days. Mwah!
+ mice
+ mosquitoes (I tried to sleep underneath the covers but when I woke up I had bites on my freakin eyelid and ears)
+ malaria pills
+ cell phone malfunction
+ computer breakdown
+ no public transportation
= homesickness and sleep deprivation.
I keep telling myself, everything’s fine. Everything’s easy. Life is comfortable. I love Liberia. I love my friends here. BUT, I also need to accept that I kinda love New York more, that I love my old friends more, and that I love my life more when I have access to technology and transportation. This might be obvious to others, but apparently I have a short memory span and struggle with this every time I travel. Rather than exaggerating and freaking out like I really should, I go into denial, tell myself that everything is okay and let things build up.
So, I just had to make a few adjustments. I stopped the malaria pills. I started reaching out to some of the foreigners. Talking to them makes me feel normal. To share the dorky excitement of working in a post-conflict country… I went salsa dancing. Found amazing Argentinean and Peruvian dance partners who can actually dance on 2 (sorry if that doesn’t mean anything to you) and sweated the night away. I stepped up the yoga and running. I found an amazing live reggae bar. I found a nice resort that I can have a brunch buffet by the beach, drink coffee, and read all afternoon.
The rest of the issues? I just have to deal with and move on. I only have 4 more weeks here (CRAZY) and I can deal without a computer. I can and have to deal with the mice and mosquitoes. And I have to accept the daily rain and just hope that there’ll be enough sun left in NYC when I get there and that I’ll take a kick ass vacation to somewhere warm in October or November.
Of course it doesn’t lift my spirits when we go out to the field to find a 3 year old boy with TB who looks like his barely 6 months old and can’t walk or talk. It doesn’t help when I have to visit an orphanage every week and fall in love with every single one of the 90 kids there. It doesn’t help to go into a GBV meeting and learn about all the new gang rape cases in the month of June.
And it doesn’t help to go to a national health conference and observe yet another yelling match. Oh, and then the crazies that come into the office everyday. The begging. The cursing. The loitering. The fighting. The office is like a freakin overflowing emergency room.
On a more positive note, I have been working on exciting projects. I just conducted a training for the departmental social workers on the orphanage accreditation process and regulations/minimal standards for the operation of orphanages. I’m developing a curriculum in collaboration with UNFPA (population fund) to train master trainers who will then go out to the rural counties and train medical staff on clinical responses to SGBV (sexual gender based violence). I’m revising the National Social Welfare Policy as well as the Liberian Ministry of Gender’s report to UNCRC (United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child). Good stuff.
And my birthday weekend was great. Like last year, it was a whole weekend of celebrations. Friday, one of the interns baked me a cake which was great, but she unfortunately missed the memo about my hating karaoke and we ended up karaoke-ing until wee hours of the morning as I was passing out in the corner of the room. Saturday my boss and I spent the entire afternoon at our friend’s house situated right on the beach. We grilled some chicken on the bbq, drank a bottle of whiskey, and got pedicures and manicures. Sunday the neighbor, Sam, hosted a vodka party. He’s as shady as anyone can get, but kinda fun to hang out with. He has a big belly, 3 black SUVs with tinted windows, gold chains, and young women prancing around his compound at all times. I didn’t even make it to mid night (my actual birthday) and passed out early. My actual birthday was low key, just cooking at home and relaxing with a small group of friends.
Thanks again for all the lovely birthday wishes!! I'll try to post some more pictures in the next couple of days. Mwah!
old post from 10 days ago
The weekend started out by entering the ministry van (which we’ve endearingly termed “the ambulance”) to finding a 9 year old child in the back. He had been picked up by one of our social workers at the central police station. The child had been abandoned by his parents due to his mental illness and had been wandering in the middle of the street until a woman dragged him out and took him to the police station. I tried to talk to the child to get some more information from him but he just stared back. He had neon polka dot shorts on and painted toe nails. I put a shirt on him and fed him a banana while we were heading to the safe home. I found out today that the child had an epileptic seizure two days later and has not been conscious since.
We had a relatively relaxing night, drinking tea and reading our books (I’m almost finished with the autobiography of Benazir Bhutto!). When I was lying in bed, very unfortunately with my glasses on, I saw a mouse come into the room. It was a small and fast little bastard. It just wouldn’t stay away from my bed. Every time I tried to force myself to sleep, it would scurry underneath the bed or up and down the curtains behind the bed. So after much deliberation and disappointment at myself for making it such a big deal, I went out into the living room and slept on the couch. It probably wasn’t a better choice but at least I didn’t hear it moving around before falling asleep.
Saturday morning 4 social workers, my boss, and I headed to the rural counties to visit an orphanage. The ride was 3.5 hours each way on horrible roads, so our bodies were aching when we got back to the city at 10pm. It turned out to be a fun road trip though. We took breaks on the side of the road and munched on grilled corn and deer meat. We jammed to all kinds of interesting R&B and hiphop. Oh, and Celine Dion.
There were 3 reasons for the trip: to investigate the death of a 14 year old girl in the orphanage, to do a general evaluation as a part of its accreditation process, and to profile all children so that they may potentially be reunited with their parents or relatives. Our final assessment: the 14 year old girl was neglected for more than 5 days after having contracted malaria and was not brought to prompt medical care even when transportation and ability to pay was not an issue. Other than the case of neglect that led to the death of a child, the orphanage was running well compared to other orphanages in the country, but still well below the legal standards that have been put forth by the Ministry.
We then moved onto the profiling of the children. This is always my favorite part of our visits. We get to sit with the children and talk with them for hours. Again, I fell in love with this particular boy named Richard. He was wearing a green sweater that he had on backwards in over 90 degree weather, washed out cotton shorts, and white and pink boots. His belly was tightly swollen from having suffered malnutrition. He had the cutest husky voice and beautiful eyes.
This orphanage experience was drastically different from the one in the capital city. It was surrounded by hills where chicken and dogs were running around. That brings its own dangers in terms of children running off on their own or threats of disease and snake bites, but this rural setting seemed much more conducive for the children. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, we will be recommending the closure of this orphanage due to the mishandling of the malaria case and non-compliance with minimum standards.
The next morning my boss and I went to yoga. We had been doing power yoga with a different instructor during the week, but decided to check out the hatha yoga instructor this time. After an extremely challenging and sweaty session, we sat in a circle and ate fruit salad and a vegan meal (eggplant and bulgar wheat). It was everything hippy that one could possibly imagine: listening to Dalai Lama’s chanting, burning candles, and sharing the negative experiences from our work week while holding hands.
EVERYBODY’s getting sick from malaria. I actually think I’m getting hallucinations and the vivid dreams again from the malaria pills. I don’t even know if this is supposed to be one of the side effects of this particular malaria pill, but it’s definitely happening. This is why I stopped taking them when I was in Senegal (different pill), but I’m waking up completely tired and disoriented. I’ll have to weigh the risks and the side effects during the next few days to see if I’ll continue with the pills.
So… my computer broke down. The hard drive is damaged. I don’t know why. I lost all my data. I do have most of it backed up but not all of it. I have to get a new hard drive, or just decide to do without one. Anyhow, I’ll post another entry about the birthday extravaganza in the next few days!!
We had a relatively relaxing night, drinking tea and reading our books (I’m almost finished with the autobiography of Benazir Bhutto!). When I was lying in bed, very unfortunately with my glasses on, I saw a mouse come into the room. It was a small and fast little bastard. It just wouldn’t stay away from my bed. Every time I tried to force myself to sleep, it would scurry underneath the bed or up and down the curtains behind the bed. So after much deliberation and disappointment at myself for making it such a big deal, I went out into the living room and slept on the couch. It probably wasn’t a better choice but at least I didn’t hear it moving around before falling asleep.
Saturday morning 4 social workers, my boss, and I headed to the rural counties to visit an orphanage. The ride was 3.5 hours each way on horrible roads, so our bodies were aching when we got back to the city at 10pm. It turned out to be a fun road trip though. We took breaks on the side of the road and munched on grilled corn and deer meat. We jammed to all kinds of interesting R&B and hiphop. Oh, and Celine Dion.
There were 3 reasons for the trip: to investigate the death of a 14 year old girl in the orphanage, to do a general evaluation as a part of its accreditation process, and to profile all children so that they may potentially be reunited with their parents or relatives. Our final assessment: the 14 year old girl was neglected for more than 5 days after having contracted malaria and was not brought to prompt medical care even when transportation and ability to pay was not an issue. Other than the case of neglect that led to the death of a child, the orphanage was running well compared to other orphanages in the country, but still well below the legal standards that have been put forth by the Ministry.
We then moved onto the profiling of the children. This is always my favorite part of our visits. We get to sit with the children and talk with them for hours. Again, I fell in love with this particular boy named Richard. He was wearing a green sweater that he had on backwards in over 90 degree weather, washed out cotton shorts, and white and pink boots. His belly was tightly swollen from having suffered malnutrition. He had the cutest husky voice and beautiful eyes.
This orphanage experience was drastically different from the one in the capital city. It was surrounded by hills where chicken and dogs were running around. That brings its own dangers in terms of children running off on their own or threats of disease and snake bites, but this rural setting seemed much more conducive for the children. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, we will be recommending the closure of this orphanage due to the mishandling of the malaria case and non-compliance with minimum standards.
The next morning my boss and I went to yoga. We had been doing power yoga with a different instructor during the week, but decided to check out the hatha yoga instructor this time. After an extremely challenging and sweaty session, we sat in a circle and ate fruit salad and a vegan meal (eggplant and bulgar wheat). It was everything hippy that one could possibly imagine: listening to Dalai Lama’s chanting, burning candles, and sharing the negative experiences from our work week while holding hands.
EVERYBODY’s getting sick from malaria. I actually think I’m getting hallucinations and the vivid dreams again from the malaria pills. I don’t even know if this is supposed to be one of the side effects of this particular malaria pill, but it’s definitely happening. This is why I stopped taking them when I was in Senegal (different pill), but I’m waking up completely tired and disoriented. I’ll have to weigh the risks and the side effects during the next few days to see if I’ll continue with the pills.
So… my computer broke down. The hard drive is damaged. I don’t know why. I lost all my data. I do have most of it backed up but not all of it. I have to get a new hard drive, or just decide to do without one. Anyhow, I’ll post another entry about the birthday extravaganza in the next few days!!
05 July 2009
03 July 2009
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